With each holiday that rolls around, memories flood the mind of times past. I am thankful that I have those memories; some of which bring me joy, others bring me sorrow.
Tomorrow, I celebrate Mother’s Day. I am a Mother to three beautiful children, whom I am very proud of, and who love me deeply. I also mourn the loss of my Mother again. I can see her sweet, simple, face. She was not a girly girl like her three daughters; she was a beat down woman that had lived a hard life. I wish I could have changed that for her, but instead, I have my own share of regrets. All she ever wanted was to be loved and respected as a human being.
What gets me through the days, and years, is knowing she is now in all her glory. She is beautiful like she once was, her knees don’t hurt, she’s not short of breath, and most importantly, she’s no longer a fighting the fight as a co-dependent, to a disease that was not her own.
If I had one more moment with her, I would tell her I know she did the best she could. I would wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. I miss her soft face, her gentle spirit, and her warm love.
God, take care of my Mother, as only you can.
Paula Smoak
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